I'm his angel! whether he likes it or not
by FattySkeleton
Summary: He killed me, and heaven got boring so i decided to comeback, and the one who killed me was just so intresting.But will I survive his insanity? will he survive me? lets see who wins, me or him.An angel or a manic? no pairing yet, but lots of sex comments
1. and it begins!

I own nothing.

To this day I have no freaking clue on how the hell he got me to his house from my house with out waking me up. I mean SERIOUSLY he looks like he would break like a freaking twig! Like, you see him and you think "EAT MORE!!!" then you see him like practically chug a bag of skittles and you're like WTF!?!?

Well, back to me being in his basement. I was chained to the wall when I woke up and I was about to freak out, but then I remembered that he couldn't hurt me. Well, not for long.

"What the hell?" I gasp. I looked back and forth and from side to side trying to find out where the hell I was. I spotted the torture equipment and my first thought was "Oh wow. I bet that hurts." But then I saw him. He was, of course, skinny as hell and his black hair looked like he had dunked it in grease, so he looked very unattractive. And goth. Very goth.

He stared at me and said, "You know why you're here?" And I answered no. so then he goes in to this big speech about how people like me poison the world and how we should die and how he needs to paint this wall and all that crap, but truthfully I agreed with some of the things he said we are a screwed up species and most of us should be killed. Like all of this religion shit, like if we are going to hell or get turned into bugs or some other shit THEN LET US. I mean, really! They kill people who don't believe in their religion, isn't that just making us go faster? And not to mention the whole convert of die thing. Like isn't that just screwing them? And aren't they trying to get people to believe in killing people for a stupid reason like 'religion' is not going to help.

And all those freaking racist bastards! I think they should all just be skewered. I mean what does COLOR have to do with ANYTHING?!?!? So I told him.

He stared at me. For a REALLY long time. I think I fell asleep in my chains.

"You're right." He muttered. And then he said to me, "Dang, I almost feel bad about this." And then he swung a huge axe at me. I flinched so hard I thought I broke my own spine.

It cut into me and stayed lodged in my stomach through the wall. I must have been in one HELL of shock because I didn't feel any pain. I stared at it in my body and listened to my legs drop. They hadn't been chained.

I looked up and caught his eye.

"Aren't I exposed to be in, like, major amounts of pain?"

"Yeah." He answered watching me with an eyebrow up is face.

I looked back down then up again and said, "Well, I feel fine but I can't feel my feet. But I suppose that's obvious huh?"

"Yep."

"well, I'm going to try to go to sleep before I start to feel the pain, and can you leave the axe in? I think that's keeping my torso up."

He left it in. I fell asleep and woke up in heaven (I was an atheist so I was really surprised to be here). It's actually really boring. So I asked the big man a favor. If I could be a certain guys guardian angel. He said what the Florida and let me go.

I got my wings. They had a bigillion colors. And I chose the brightest bright green I could find and got a hot pink halo, but no robes. My jeans and white T-shirt will do just fine.

I jumped out of heavens giant hole. It's like our Grand Canyon except white-ish gray.

I fell for like 5 minutes and when I fell threw a roof it was one of the freakiest feelings EVER. And then I crashed to the floor in his basement and he was there.

He spun around with a creepy knife in his hand. He rushed toward me with the knife and it went right through me. He stopped and stared at me.

"Holy shit." He said in shock.

For some God Damned reason I felt self-conscious. I mean WHY?!??!?!?? He was goth. And not my type. Like really.

"Hi! I'm your new guardian angel! Turns out the Christians were right, the bastards." I grumbled I was still pissed at being wrong about that.

"I know you. You were the girl that didn't freak out." He said.

"NOPE." I Yelled in his face. I heard a timer go off so I floated up through the roof/floor and saw the thing that was missing in heaven on the stove.

"SPEGATTE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I Yelled.

"My poor ears." Grumbled a voice behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and smirked. "Deal with it buster I'll be here for a LOOOOONNNGGGG time. Oh by the way I'm Grace, and you." I asked with a smile.

"Nny." He said.

"Well, Nny I bet we'll end up hating each other, but you can't kill me and I have to keep you alive so don't die, cause I'll barely ever help."

I then ate all of his Oh's and slept on his couch. I was going to love it here.

**_I might go on if people like this but i haven't read the comics but ikind of get the story but tell me if somethings wrong. and stuff. . . is that a coke? _**

**_HEY SUGAR ROCKS!!! LIKE REALLY I SHOULD NOT HAVE DRUNK TH TH TH HT HTH THTHTHTHTHTHTTHTHTHHTHTHTHTHTHTH T H A T. YYYYEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!! woot._**


	2. bored

I was having a staring contest with nail bunny. I was winning.

When I had first seen him, I had freaked out on Nny about animal cruelty and had pried the head off of the wall and buried it in the barren backyard. The next day the head was right back where it had been and it looked like it hadn't even moved. Then it thanked me for the kind gesture but asked me not to do it again, and I ran screaming through the house and tried to hug Nny but flew through him and smashed into the wall. He laughed.

So back to the contest, I was winning. Yay. . . .

I'm bored. really bored. . . . I should do stuff!

I ran out of the house and ran down random streets yelling about retarded monkeys. I then tackled an old lady and gave a lap dance to an elementary schooler who squealed a lot while his weird horned friend made rude comments about my C-cups. I gave the squealer a kiss and bonked the other kid on his forehead and ran away.

I found a dance club and dominated the dance floor. Five different guys tried to feel me up and 5 different guys chased after me as I ran down the road to Nny's house screaming "I Don't Want To Be Gang Raped!"

**WHY THE HELL DIDN'T ANYONE HELP ME?!?**

Well, I ran into the house and I jumped at Jhonny 'cept I didn't go through this time and I plowed right into him. We fell to the floor me on top of him as I screamed my lungs out about a staring contest with nail bunny, when the door busted open and the 5 guys ran in.

"Aww, hot momma? You want to play with your freak? Well, bob here like guys so it'll be all good." And they came toward me.

I shrieked and ran down stairs to where I had been killed and the guys followed me down. I led them straight to a spiked floor. I used my unkillable body to not die on the spikes. Then I turned around and watched with cold eyes as four men impaled themselves on the spikes. I hit a button on the wall beside me and a specially built wall started to close forcing the skin and bones around the spikes to rip, break, and crush their bodies. I listened to their screams and watched their souls get pulled to hell. I laughed at them.

I went back up stairs and saw that the fifth guy was on the couch.

And the kitchen, the ceiling, the door and the window boards.

A message made of blood was scrawled on the walls.

_"Gone to the 24/7 for a cherry DOOM!"_

I left everything were it was and went to his room. Then I crashed on his bed.

Well, at least it wasn't boring.

I woke up at night once. You know one of those dream **things** were your mind tries to convince you that it's something weird. Like once I slept thru my alarm clock cause I was dreaming that Barbie was screaming at me. Like that.

But this was something else, like what I saw was an owl. It was just staring at me. Eating a stick bug while a gargling garbage disposal made noise. (It's kind of like the sound of when someone hits the bottom of their drink but keeps sucking? Yeah that sound.)

I fell back to sleep after saying, "_Fr_e**m e**_rg _ni_ft_e**l**."

I have no clue what that ment.

666 words


	3. My belifs on god the fat ass

I was laying on the couch. (It was clean. I had made sure of that.)

With Nny doodling on a note book muttering about "Nappy doodle Soy." He suddenly looked up and said.

"Hey, if you're an atheist how the hell did you go to heaven and become an angel."

I stared at him in slight shock, then I choked out an answer.

"I was brought up a christen so I was baptized and accepted god into my heart and all that before I was seven, but then I turned atheist around 12 and I guess it just counts even though I changed my mind."

"Why did you change your mind?"

I thought for a bit bring to surface the many, many speeches that I had to give to my family about why I wasn't a christen anymore.

I took a deep breath and began. "You ever read in the bible about why the human race was created? We're here because God was bored. He wanted to be praised for no reason other then him being him. He had angels right? So why did he make us? And if he is omniscient, he would have known that Satan was going to rebel right? Then he just let it happen because he wanted more excitement. He also put a freaking TREE of KNOWLEGD in a place with like maybe 3 day old people. If they are anything like the toddlers to day then it was a given that they would do exactly what he told them not to. It's all just beset up by him to fall, all because he wanted to watch it happen."

I started gasping because I had been yelling by the end of that and I just collapsed on the sofa with a few parting words to Nny.

"It's not that I don't belive, I just choose to ignore the fat ass in control of everything and try to do my own thing."

I then started channel surfing and Nny went back to his notebook and the deep soul bearing speech was brushed off like I had merely commented about the weather.


	4. That gay boy, Nny, and me

I was on the floor because I could be. Don't judge me. The floor was wide…and comfy . . . don't make me get Nny.

Well, anyway, I was on the floor with my wings spread out around me when all of a sudden the front door was flung open and there was the most beautiful man on earth. He had long bond hair that caressed his shoulders and the most beautiful bright blue eyes you will ever see in real life. He was around 6 foot and he had a build like a soccer player. He had a lip piercing and a slight goatee.

He was bearing down on me with a look in his eye that told me he was SOOOO pissed at me it wasn't even funny.

"H-hi, Dan!" I said fake cheerfully as I scuttled backwards, my wings dragging slightly on the wood floor.

"Grace…" he said in a low deadly rumble as he stepped toward me. "I am so pissed . . ."

Then all of a sudden Nny was there with Dan pushed up against the wall and I knife at his throat. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!!?? ARE YOU HERE TO ROB ME!!?!?! WELL YOU STUPID RETARDED ASSHOLE, I'M GOING TO FUCKING REMOVE YOUR BALLS AND BREACK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!!! YOUR JUST HERE TO CALL ME A DAMN FAG AREN'T YOU!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TAKE ME!!!?!?!? WELL I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU CRY AND MAKE NOISE AS I KILL YOUR FUCKING ASS-"

"Johnny." I said with my hand over his mouth, concentrating very hard to touch him. "Dan is not here to rob you, he is not stupid or retarded or an asshole. He IS a fag and all of your talk about killing and torturing him is most likely turning him on."

Johnny turned back to Dan to see him breathing heavily and very red. He wrenched away from Dan and took many steps back till he hit a wall. Probably having no idea on how to react to a horny gay guy in his home.

Dan turned to me with a still red face and said in a breathy gasp, "Hot damn Grace! How did you manage to get this HOT of a roommate? I would give up my current boy toy and my left arm to bunk with this fiery guy." The last few words were said with a hot leer as he checked Nny. Nny scuttled on the wall as he moved sideways to a door opened it and went in. . . I think it was a closet. . .

I turned my attention back to Dan. He was watching Nny's hiding door with a very hungry look.

"Dan don't even think about it, he was very serious about those threats."

He took a sideways glance at me and gave a very happy smile, "So was I. I've got nothing to lose now so might as well have as much fun as possible."

I looked at him curiously, "Why do you say that?"

He looked at me with all seriousness and opened his jacket and there was a big gapping hole where his heart should be. I stared. It went right threw his chest.

"What?"

He closed his jacket and said. "It turns out that my soul shouldn't be taken into hell yet because it needs to mature to demon proportions and it wasn't ready yet when the iron rod went threw me."

I looked at him passively as I waited for the real panic to hit. "So lust demon, right?"

"Yep."

"Hmmm"

"Hmmmm"

"Hmm"

"STOP 'HMMM'ING!!!!"

We both turned to see Johnny out of the closet waving a knife.

"God damn it! Why the hell are their TWO freaking unreal creatures in my living room!!"

"Umm…."

We turned to see a guy in a suit in Nny's doorway. He was holding a bible and had a befuddled look on his face. "Can I talk to you about god?"

At those words I couldn't help it. I broke. I lent over and began to laugh my ass off as Nny went toward the only thing near by that he could kill.

"HAHAHA- Dear fat god! You came at the WRONG time! –HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ohhhh! Can I watch? Then go next?"

**I just had the NEED to have a gay guy in the story, and i think i might do a really screwed up threesome between Dan, Nny, and Grace. Review to make me not do it... or review to encorage me... i don't know what ever you prefer but no sex in this story. . . but maybe everything else.**

**he he heh ^.^ Fear my mind.**


	5. Bible Bill and no bodys for Dan

**Tazer42 is a Homophobe. . . I totally didn't spell that right. . . ^^** (suck it i'm the authoress!!")

I was downstairs with Dan throwing knifes at the man I had named Bible Bill. Bill was chained spread eagle to a wall with chains and looking at me very scared like as he practically choked on his gag.

THUNK!

"Dear Buddha! Why the limbo can't I hit this guy with the FREAKING SHARP END!!" I yelled as my knife once again whacked harmlessly against Bill's thigh.

"It's in the wrist sweetie." Dan said as he continued to outline Bill's crouch, skillfully nicking it on all the really sensitive places.

We were waiting for Nny to come back with a bucket as we practiced our knife throwing. I was a HORRIBLE shot.

I gave up on throwing knifes and decided to screw with Bill. I walked up to his wall and spread my wings, making sure not to get in Dan's way as he continued to out line the poor man's body.

"So, how does it feel to be threatened by a demon in training as a freaking angle watches near-by? I mean it MUST be screwing with your mind, huh? Sorry to break it to you but heavens not perfect, in fact it's down right boring, and I sure as hell ain't no saint."

I walked up the wall defying gravity as I gently flapped my wings, throwing his short hair about. I walked till I could tip my head forward and look down at his face. I gave him a kind smile that must have totally contradicted what we were doing right now. I smiled more. I loved irony.

"Don't worry though you'll probably still go to heaven, it takes almost anybody in. Ironically it's harder to get into hell!"

I cackled as I sat down Indian style on the wall and watched Dan finish his out-line while Nny walked in with a bucket.

"I found the bucket." He said raising it over his head as he walked toward Bill.

I think Bill began to scream.

"No you can't have the body Dan."

"But why would you let a perfectly good boy body go to waste? And it's already got blood on it! It's perfect!"

Dan was trying to get me to let him have Bill's dead body for a few private minutes. In a room. Naked.

Obviously I found that very creepy and was strongly telling him no, very strongly, but in a friendly way of course.

"Dear kinky Jesus! Just drop it! I am not going to let you fuck the dead guy's body ok? I would let you rape a rapist for irony, but I think he was a virgin and he wasn't a bad guy, just stupid, there at the wrong time, and a christen." I pushed him out the door infront of me as I stomped up the stairs. Damn this horny dude.

Bill had been dead for a while and Nny had painted his wall then he had run away after Dan had gotten a good grope in. I'm not sure where he went but I'm pretty sure he said he was going to squeeze. Squeeze what? I have no clue.

"Hey Dan?" I asked. "How did you find me anyway?"

Dan looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I googled it."

I stared at him, "What?"

"Seriously, google is a thing of God," he thought about that statement for a second, "or Satan. Which ever it's awesome."

I blinked at him for a bit.

"Damn."

"Exactally."

**Yo. I'm thinking about entering Squee and Pepito and others and stuff, but i don't really have a STORY for this you know? so all matter of shit could happen.**


	6. i can't bring Dan

I opened the pantry and groaned when I saw that it was empty.

"Dear anorexic Hebrews! We're out of EVERYTHING! Even spegattio O's! How are we out of spegattio o's? I thought that it was impossible for Nny to run out of O's!"

As I ranted Dan came up behind me eating something.

"Just go buy more." He put more of whatever he was eating in his mouth.

"I can't!" I groaned tilting my head back to see him.

"Why not?" Another bite.

"I can't touch money. It's some retarded angel shit about it being the root of all evil."

"What about a credit card?" Slow cow like chewing motions.

"Johnny doesn't have one." At his name I was struck by brilliance. "Wait! Johnny! I'll take him with me!"

I got up from my crouch and I went to the Down-stairs door. I jumped down the steps and followed the screams of pain instead of the screams of help.

I soon found Nny talking to a girl in a strait jacket. There were two people behind him but I couldn't tell which gender they had been.

"Nny! Stop what your doing we have to go shopping." I walked right up to him and looked over his shoulder (he was kneeling). Nny looked up from his crying, hysterical, female and yelled, "I'm busy! Go do it yourself."

I gave a sigh then bent over him and started to braid the girls hair. "Come on Nny! I can't touch money so I need you to go with me! Plus you're the one that really needs the food."

"Take Dan." He said as he yanked a knife out of the corpse behind him.

I gave him a long hard look.

"The last time I took Dan grocery shopping 2 people died, a new STD was made, 5 boxes of eggs were made unsellable , 3 new fetishes were discovered, a security guy got millions of dollars from the security footage by selling it as porn, and later that day I saw him eating a banana that we had not had or bought and he couldn't have hidden it on his body because he had been wearing spandex at the time."

"This was all before he became a demon-ish thing and I don't want to see what he could do now."

Nny looked like a 10 year-old that had just walked in on his parents 69ing on his bed. Just the expression on his face. His eyes took up most of his face and I could fit a fist into his mouth. Priceless.

I finished braiding the girl's hair and took the knife from Nny's limp hands and stabbed it into the wall and the hung the girl by her hair, making sure she couldn't touch the floor.

I grabbed Nny's sleeve and led him up the stairs and to the threshold. I stopped suddenly and turned to Nny.

"Hey, what had that girl been in there for?"

"Mhm? Oh she had tried to rape a little boy."

". . . really?

"Yep."

I leaned into the house, "Hey! Dan! There's a bitch hanging by her hair in a strait jacket down stairs. Do what ever you want to her but make sure he hates it and doesn't live thru it."

"SWEET!"

I heard him run down stairs, "You here that chicky? You're going to be my practice dummy for my hell training!"

I let the house smiling, I had left her in good hands.

Or bad, it depends on your point of view.

**the shopping trip will have P and S in it for the next chapter.**


	7. HEEEEERRRRREEEEESSSSS SATAN!

"So Nny, do you want the BIG ASS can of spaggati O's or the little ASS can? Cause I can't tell the difference." I said as I stared at the weird labels. Hmmmmm, apparently there is no really meat in this can only POOP. And NO one knows what the Hell that is.

"I don't know get both."

"Just chose one."

"Big."

"Good boy."

"HEY IT'S C-CUPS!"

I spun to see the little horned kid behind Nny. Squeaky appeared to be hiding behind him. And staring at Nny in fright.

"Ahh! It's horny little KID! and Squeaky! And random LADY! Hi!" I held my hand out to the smiley lady. She had one of those smiles that weren't creepy, like you actually wanted to see her smile, and it was a good thing. Weird.

"Hello! So you know my son? Pepito is such a sweet boy." She said. And I liked her, a lot. This girl was going to Heaven.

Poor lady.

"Ummm, kind of, well you see I gave his friend a lap- JOHNNY! Do not scare the little kid!" Nny was sort of leaning over Squeaky with a freaky smile. And Pepito was glaring at him like he was an equal not a manic.

Wait, they didn't know that yet.

"I'm not scaring him," he said while plainly giving the kid nightmare material, "I'm just telling him that his teddy bear is full of LIES!" the last word was screamed drawing the attention of the entire store.

"Nny! Be quiet! You have to get threw a shopping trip with me without killing me or I swear I will knock you out and let Dan do his worst."

He looked at me and said, "You're my guardian Angel, you can't put me in danger."

I smiled, well angelically, and said, "Who said anything about hurting you? Dan also does fashion, he would LOVE to give you a makeover." Yeah that's right, back away Nny, you don't want to fuck with this.

I looked back at the people and I saw that a new person had joined us. It was Satan.

"Son, this is an Angel. They are very weak and have many drawbacks, such as, they cannot touch evil, they cannot hurt people, and they are very morally strong and will not do much more for their host other than talk to them."

I ran up to Satan. I grabbed his hand and began to shake it. "Hello! It's such a pleasure to meet you, I could not** Believe** that I went to heaven and not hell, but I'm happy to meet you know and-"

"Hey Dad, I thought you said that they can't touch evil."

"Um, they CAN'T, something is wrong with this one, girl, what religion where you when you died?"

"Well, none I guess, not even Atheist in the long run I suppose. But God is a Dick so I was really surprised to be there."

I turned away from the stunned Devil, and looked at the sudden loud POP I had heard.

"God DAMNIT! Nny! Get away from that sandwich meat slicer! You already have enough toys of death! And put that clerk down."

"But he LAUGHED AT ME for falling over, DAMNIT!"

"Nny. If he had fallen over would you have laughed?"

". . . . Yes."

"Then you are a hypocrite. So put him down or take him home because we need blood anyway."

"Fine." He walked out of the store dragging the struggling and screaming clerk behind him. I turned back to the family of irony.

"Well, I have to go pay for my fake pasta, good-bye! And come over for dinner some time, and I'll cook something."

I smiled as I left, the Squeaky kid in fear, Pepito in thought, the Devil in some sort of state of shock and the Smiley lady still smiling.

(BACK AT HOUSE)

"Hey! DAN! Come help me with groceries!"

He came out in some sort of afterglow like state. And covered in blood.

I looked him over, "Is she still alive?"

"Yep!" he was really happy.

"How?"

"I only took off some fingers, a foot, her boobs, a rib and her nose. Nothing she needed." He WAS really happy.

"What did you do with them?"

". . .Incubus? remember?"

I dropped my bag.

"YOU ATE THEM!"

"Yep."

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!_

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

**EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEWEWEWEWEWEWEW**!!!!!!!!!"

"It was actually pretty good."

I threw up.

Then I think I fainted.

God, I hope I didn't land in the barf.


	8. shut up dickers

"There's no reason to live, no reason at all. So just take the knife and cut right there, yesssssss. That's it just a bit deeper-"

"NO don't do it Johnny! You have to live there is so much to live for-"

"SHUT UP! He deserves to die, he's killed so many!"

"But he didn't mean to-!"

"SHUT UUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP! God damn his fat ass into your fucking mouths so that you may eat his rancid holy shit you dick wads! Why the hell are you being so fucking loud you pieces of shit lickers! Not shut the hell up or Dan help me I will burn you slowly with your own fucking tongues as you can't even scream from the pain I will inflict on you as I see how many of Nny's knifes will fit up you ASSES!!!!!!! NOW LET ME SLEEP!"

I flopped back on the bed as I breathed deeply from the yelling I had given those damn idiots. Man, can't some guys let a chick sleep? God, you'd think they had never been quiet in their lives.

. . . wait

That wasn't Johnny or Dan. Or nail bunny.

I lifted my head up and I looked around the room. This was Nny's unused room with Nny in a corner looking up at me in shock as he had a knife in his wrist bleeding slowly. I ignored him.

I focused on two weird looking cardboard figurines on a dresser. One had "fuck" on his chest as the other had what looked like "Meaties" on his. At least I think they were male.

"Where those talking?" I asked Johnny as I got tiredly off the bed and walked toward them.

"Yesssss?"

"Really?"

"Yes really bitch, we talk, and now that you have interrupted Johnny's suicide attempt, go cut his head off." Said the one with Funk on his chest.

"No! Keep him alive go make him happy and enjoy life!" said Meaties.

I stared at them.

"Life is not enjoyable, and it doesn't make you happy. The only good thing about life is that the longer you live it, the longer you're saying "FUCK YOU ASSES! I'VE LIVED THIS LONG WITHOUT BOWING DOWN TO YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!" so while I am not going to make him 'enjoy life' I am sure as short cake not going to let him die. He's here to kill people to make the others learn to not be stupid, and ,yeah, it's not working but it sure is funny as hell to watch."

They appeared to stare at me so then I went over to Johnny and took him to the kitchen, not the bathroom-the corpus is still in there-and put his now unknifed arm under the water.

"Damn it, it's not stopping," I look up at Nny. Well he's not freaking out yet and he's not trying to kill me so can't hurt to try, "now Nny don't freak out."

I raise his arm to my mouth and suck on the cut licking it to try to get it to close. It does.

But then Nny screams bloody murder (HAH) and seems to have some weird little seizure and passes out.

"DAMN!" I yell as he falls on top of me, making my legs buckle and making me fall backwards onto the floor with an unconscious homicidal manic on top of me. And just because I think god planned this, Dan walks in from the basement chewing something (EW!!!!) and stops dead in the door way taking in the akward situation.

"So, did he pass out half way threw trying to make out with your chest or did he just decide that boobs make a good pillow?"

"Shut-up and help me move him or I swear that I'll cut off one of your balls and let you go around like Hitler."

"ok girl, no need to get snippy!"

"I am not SNIPPY!"

"You PMSing too?"

"I am going to rape you with a shovel."

"Promise?"

**I decided to end this bang with a vagley kreepy note! YAY!!!**

**so next Nny wakes up and grace has to convince him that he is awake.**

**fun**


	9. He FAINTED!

God shit! Why the fuck did Nny faint?

Yes. Nny _**fainted.**_ He did not do something manly like pass out or be knocked out. He _fainted_.

And FUCK IT why the hell did I leave him alone in the fucking presence of Dan? Cause now I have to watch over his damn NAKED boney ass.

It really is boney too. I got a great view of it when Dan was trying to leave a hickey.

Grace shuddered at the horrible memory. It had been horrible. She had just dragged Nny into his room and got him on his bed. Grace had told Dan to make him comfortable while she got a blanket but when she got back she was treated to the horrible sight.

I'm pretty sure that will give me fucked up horny/horror/rape/skeleton dreams.

"Groan." Shit he's awake. Damn, what do I do? I'm in a room with a naked homicidal maniac and I don't have a fucking clue how he'll react.

"Ummm, Nny! I know this seems bad but, uh, I'm pretty sure you still have your virginity and that hickey should disappear in a few days and I have your clothes here and-and um. . . . why are you not freaking out?"

Nny was staring at me and he wasn't moving. It was kind of creepy.

"Am I awake?"

"Yeah?"

"I had a dream."

"Reaaaaalllllllllly?" I backed away a little as he got off of the bed and came toward me, the blanket around his waist.

"I dreamed that I killed you by ripping your wings off and painted the wall with your blood and then I cut off Dan's head and crushed it against a wall and smeared the blood on the wall with yours."

I stared at the crazy/sane dude in front of me and said, "Well, I can't die again and my wings come off really easy. In fact they're over there." I pointed to the wall with my wings leaning against it. "And Dan pretty much is dead any way and his whole soul is centered in his dick balls and ass because of what he is and there isn't a way to destroy them, really, after the whole you being bare as a jay bird I tried."

He stared at me a little longer and opened his mouth to say something when the door behind me opened knocking me into Johnny, making him fall over.

Causing him to drop the blanket.

So guess what natural reaction of a woken male after sleeping was poking me in the stomach as my face met his very skinny chest?

"_Ohhhhhhhhh_! You got room for one more? I got some lube!"

This time _I_ passed out.

Not fainted.

Why is it not a faint?

I didn't scream.

**You like it? I didn't update for so long because I kind of wrote my self into a hole but I think it's better now. ;D**


	10. doom bucket anyone?

"FAT BUDDAH'S ASS. WE'RE IN!!!!"

I sat up in shock. Wow, someone's got one hell of a set of lungs.

I got up out of the bed that I was in, and I noticed that there was a knife in the bed where my heart had been. Nny had obviously gotten mad at me or somethin'.

I climbed out of the bed and when out to the living room and froze in shock.

There were people in Johnny's house.

Both of them were female.

I stared at them as the talked to one another and I tried to understand that there were two skinny attractive women in Nny's house and neither of them had been dragged in.

"Umm. Hi?"

One of the women, the purple haired one, whipped around in fright and shrieked, and when she screamed the other one screamed, and then I screamed because they where screaming, and then Dan came from the basement and he screamed, making the other purple girl to scream again, and then the girl with this squeaky dog toy screamed again and so I screamed which made Dan scream and all of this continued for awhile.

So then Squeaky Toy Girl yelled "Attack Spooky!" and ran at Dan and tackled him while wildly squeaking her toy. So since Dan was in the basement doorway when he was tackled he was flung backwards and it sounded like they fell down the stairs.

So I yelled "DAN!"

And was then pinned to the wall by Purple Woman, who yelled at me, "Stop YELLING!"

To which I replied, "YOU stop yelling!"

"OK!"

"OK!"

So then we just stood there for a bit catching our breath. I recovered first.

"So why are you in Nny's house?"

To which she replied, "Why are YOU here?"

"I live here."

"What? Nny has a girlfriend?" did I detect some disappointment?

"No not really, we're just friends, but I do sleep in his room." How will she react to that?

"Really?" Oooh! Sudden hate of me! This is promising!

"Yep! So why are you here Purple Woman, and why is Squeaky Toy Girl here too? Are ya'll stupid? Nny will probably kill you."

She shook her head, "Nah, I can take him. I have before."

"Kewl! So can you let me go?"

"No I don't know who's side your on."

"What sides are there?"

"My side or Nny's side."

"Well crap. Out of defalt I have to be on Nny's side because of what I am."

"What you are? What are you?"

"SQUEAL!"

(Homework intermission)

"Oh my god! Tenna!"

She let go of me and ran down the stairs with me right behind her. Once we reached the bottom we saw something that shocked and amazed me and disgusted and embarrassed her.

We saw Tenna (Squeaky Toy Girl) and Dan making out on the really gross floor.

And I mean WOW! They were getting it ON! I swear that it was 20 degrees hotter down here from the pure heat of their tongues rubbing against each other.

I didn't know that Dan was Bi.

So I suddenly snapped out of my "Watch Dan make-out trance". So I reached down grabbed a spare blood bucket and walloped Purple Woman in the head with it.

So she was down and out but then I heard a gasp behind me so I swung the bucket again and this time I whacked Johnny in the head putting HIM down for the count.

So there I was, a guardian angel, with my downed homicidal maniac on one side of me and a purple haired trespasser on the other. While a demon in training with his love monkey having tongue sex maybe three feet away as I stood there wielding my bloody bucket of unconscious DOOM.

Can I get fired?

Cause **I** would fire me after this.

**Umm, wow. even i didn't see this coming.**


	11. cleaning up the mess

When one is faced with two people knocked unconsiouse on the floor there is only one thing to do.

Freak out.

I dropped the bucket and started to scream and cuss. "OH FUCK!!! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO!! OH MY HAIRY GORRILA LEGS!! DO I DO CPR!! OH SHIT OH SHIT SHIT!! WHAT IF I GAVE THEM BRAIN DAMAGE!! I'M NOT GOOD WITH MENTALLY CHALLENGED PEOPLE!! OR OLD PEOPLE THEY FREAK ME OUT!! OH MY FAT SHIT COVERED BUDDA!!!!"

I fell to my knees in front of the purple haired girl and started to do CPR. I did thirty chest compressions and them bent over and did the mouth thing. I sensed movement over to the side of me and saw Nny staring at me from the sides of my eyes. Then I heard a muffled EEP and looked down to see the purple haired chick awake and staring at me.

I was so happy that I didn't kill anyone that I didn't realize that she was staring at me because I was still in a lip lock with her.

I leaned back. And began to babble.

"Oh dear sweet sardines, I didn't kill you guys with the bucket! I was so scared because, well I think it would be bad mojo to kill the guy I'm supposed to be protecting and because as far as I know purple head's not really a bad person and-"

"You kissed me?" said purple head in a low disbelieving voice.

"Well kind of. I was actually doing CPR. Was that the right response?"

"You kissed her?" that was Nny. He looked really mad at me for some reason. Is he jealous?

"CPR. I did CPR to her." I started to back up. He was freaking me out.

"You tainted her pureness with your fucking lips! I should rip them off your head and gut you! She is perfect and you did that to her!! You are a fucking disgrace! Someone as beautiful and wonderful, pure and perfect as her should never even have the likes of you scum even look at HER!!!!" Nny said this as he whipped out a knife and stalked toward me. But I was no longer looking at him. I was too interested in the expressions on purple head's face as Nny said all those sweet, adoring, slightly creepy things about her.

I had been backed up against a wall before she had over come her shock and said something. "Did you mean that?" she whispered.

Nny turned his head and looked at her like 'are you serious?'

"Of course any fool could tell that about you. You're a goddess and deserve to be treated and worshiped like one."

Nny said this with a straight face and I knew that without a doubt that he meant it. He meant every word. He was head over heels in love with this chick and wasn't aware of it.

I smirked. Time to fix this mess.

I slipped around him and raced over to purple head. I wrapped my hands around her from behind and placed one hand under her boobs and the other on her lower stomach, right under her navel. I placed my head on her shoulder and purred into her ear loud enough that Nny could hear me from where he was.

"You hear that sweet heart? It sounds like he wants to praise and worship your body." I squeezed lightly, making it obvious that I was touching her intimately.

"What kind of cheap worship is that?! Sure she's the most beautiful woman I have or ever will see but her mind is sharper than any knife and she makes everything make sense! When I'm with her I can think clearly and I don't have to worry that she's not real because she's the realist thing in my world!" He snapped as he glared at me. "Now GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!!"

I wrapped my arms around her midsection and lifted a leg to wrap around her hips. I knew that this looked VERY sexual. It was going to drive him nuts!

'Hey what are you-!"

I placed a hand on her mouth. "Shh, just wait." Louder I said, "Well Nny, are you going to share the realist thing in the world?"

He growled, he actually growled at me. "Not with you or anybody else! She deserves to be protected and I will not allow you or your sick intentions to sully her!!!"

"Because she's real to you?"

"YES!"

"And she's beautiful?"

"YES!!"

"And because she's smart?"

'YES!!"

"And of course because you love her right!?"

"YESSS!!!!"

At that point he was maybe two feet away and I gave a real big Cheshire cat smile and said, "Then have her!" I pushed her hard and sent her flying into Nny's arms and he dropped the knifes he was going to use on me and caught her.

"Now Nny remember! You can't go back on your word and Devi if he ever gives you any trouble just beat him up."

I turned away from the couple and saw that Dan and toy girl were done making out. They also had most of their cloths on. Sure, she was covered in hickeys and Dan had a huge pants bulge, but nothing too scarring.

"AWWWWWWW!!!!! That's soo sweet!! Devi! You never said he was such a sweetie! Or had such a hot friend." She winked at Dan. Dan was looking at her with such an adoring look I thought that he was going to ask to marry her right then. But instead he wrapped his arms around her and snuggled into her hair. Holy shit. I think he's in love.

Then he looked up and stared at me.

"What, lover boy?"

"You're disappearing."

"WHAT!"

I looked down. I was disappering. My legs were dissolving rather quickly.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!"

Suddenly a loud booming voice came from everywhere and it sounded like one of those guys that take your order through the drive through at a fast food place.

"Miss Grace, because you have successfully made your ward happy and content and placed him on the right path of life, while also making true love happen to two couples you shall be assigned to another ward to fully max maximize your abilities. Thank you have a nice day!"

I stared in shock as I watched my torso start to disolve and then yelled "WHAT THE HEL-!?"

My mouth was gone. The last thing I saw was all my new and one old friends staring at me with really wide eyes. Then everything was black.

* * *

**The END sorta. I'm ending it here but I'll make a sequal. Maybe. I'm debating weather or not she should be squee's angel or Dib's.**

**if i make a sequal it will be called "Do you belive in angels?"**


End file.
